


One Shot, One Kill

by DarkWoods



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: "AkaKuro", 3 hours of sleep, Akashi sees all, He is above the law, I can't believe his horse has a character tag, Multi, The Witching Hour, do people still use the term crack? because this is that, he IS the law, its a sign, this fic is a MESS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 14:52:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14046669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkWoods/pseuds/DarkWoods
Summary: One does not need to be a God to become omnipotent, just really rich. (AKA how Akashi launches scissors at his friends no matter where they are.)





	One Shot, One Kill

**Author's Note:**

  * For [widdlewed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/widdlewed/gifts).



> The discord chat is a gift. We were talking about Akashi's God-like fanon abilities.

Seijurou guides Yukimura to a slow trot as he feels a vibration in his breast pocket. An overwhelming sense of rage wells up from deep within him as he flips open his phone.

As an Akashi, he commissioned someone to make him a flip smart phone.

It's one of his men.

His voice is hard; as cold and sharp as his scissors when he hisses, "What is it?"

Nobody interrupts his time with Yukimaru. Not without consequences.

His eye burns gold.

He hears the phone clatter as the man falls to his knees in terror. _"I-I'm sorry Akashi-sama, I know you said not to call during your bonding sessions but...we got another hit."_

Yukimaru stops on the dime.

"Who?" Seijuro snarls, but it's a rhetorical question when he already knows. He has a live feed of the transcripts always running on his smart watch, keyed in to certain trigger words.

_"Line number 347, Ki-"_

"Kise Ryouta. A level five transgression will occur in the next 47 seconds correct? Take the shot, on my mark." He orders, pulling out his riding tablet from Yukimura's saddle to connect to the cameras.

He sees Kise, lounging on his living room couch talking into his cellphone. A quick check to his watch confirms it's Aomine he's speaking to, so he splits his screen to observe them both. He patches himself into the line, listening into their conversation for his cue.

"Just to be thorough, line up a shot on Daiki as well."

_"As you wish Sir."_

_"-I mean, Akashicchi is almost as small as Kurokocchi, and if we worked together, I'm sure we could take down the ru-"_

_**"NOW!"** _

At his command, on both screens a pair of scissors are thrown with pinpoint accuracy at bullet-like speed. The athletes turn deathly pale as strands of their hair fall to the floor, and a pair of cutting utensils embed themselves in the surfaces next to their heads.

Making sure both parties can hear him, he says, "Ryouta. Daiki. Your training menus have been **octupled**."

Kise is trembling. It's barely coherent through his sobs but he chokes out, "B-But Aka- shicchi! We- we'll die!"

" **Then perish**. You should've thought about that before you disobeyed me." He watches with empty eyes as Kise loses consciousness, hears the phone clatter to the floor as it slips from his grasp.

Aomine whimpers as he listens to Kise fade. "Y-You can't do this...you live in Kyoto now...you aren't my captain anymore...this is _illegal_!" He shouts hysterically, curling into a ball to make himself a smaller target.

Seijuro goes silent at the accusations. He quakes with rage from the fact that this cretin dare to challenge his authority. Using the speakers he installed into Aomine's house, Seijuro's voice booms around him.

**"̸̸F̢́͟ớ̕҉ơ̧̛͞͞ĺ̷͞.̷̷͏͡ ̨͘͘͠I̸̧̢͘͜ ̵̡͡͡À̶́͡ḿ҉ ͏A̧͘͢b̴̛̀̀ś̕͡o̴̢҉҉l̵̀́̕ú̡t̡̧͝͡e͞҉̢͏̶.̢̧"҉̶**

Aomine shrieks before he starts to work through the exercises with manic speed, all in the vein hope of appeasing his new God.

Seijuro hangs up and closes the feed.

If Aomine takes a break, he will Know.

He lets his eye fade back to red as he addresses the agents still on the line. "Alright, everyone in Ryouta's branch take five, he wont wake up for another two hours. However, everyone in Tetsuya's branch is going to have to put in some overtime, he's spending the night at a teammate's house and I want eyes on the situation _**at all times**_. Tetsuya is aware of the radius, but in case there are any touchy upstarts, be ready to interfere. Good work everyone, I apologize for snapping earlier. This wouldn't be possible without you. Unless we get another level five, please refrain from contacting me and proceed as normal." Seijuro flips his phone shut with a satisfying snap.

The phone definitely pays for itself.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk why I don't write more crack fics


End file.
